Cloverfield

[it is NEW YORK]
Generic Hot Dude: Ha ha ha!! I love this camera! And you! Wait...we're just friends. Maybe I don't love you. My biggest problem is my relationship with you!
Generic Hot Girl: Hee hee hee! We're so generically hot and happy! I've never been to Coney Island! Maybe that's because we're elitists.
[some time LATER]
Hud: Dude! Rob's going to Japan! Say something for the camera!
Rob's Attractive Friends: Bye Rob!! Have fun in Japan! I heard you did it with your friend!
Generic Hot Dude: Uh...yeah.
Generic Hot Girl: We slept together, but we're fighting now.
[she LEAVES and people KEEP PARTYING]
Hud, the Guy with the Camera: Yo, WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!
[a HUGE FUCKING EXPLOSION happens, and a HUGE FUCKING MONSTER is tromping around]
Everyone: WHAT THE FUCK????
[everyone fucking FREAKS OUT, but for some reason Hud KEEPS FILMING in an AMATEURISH WAY]
Someone: Oh my god! The head of the Statue of Liberty just flew through the air! This monster hates freedom! It must be French!!
[they try to go to BROOKLYN, but the BRIDGE collapses and his brother BITES IT]
Generic Hot Dude: We gotta go find my friend-with-benefits that I just had a fight with, even though we are way downtown, and she lives in Midtown, which is way far, especially considering that there's a monster on the loose.
The Brother's Girlfriend: Nooooooo!!! I'm so ethnically ambiguous!!
[they go into an OBVIOUSLY FAKE subway station]
Hud: I guess I'll just keep filming with this handheld camera.
[they go into a TUNNEL and find some BABY MONSTERS with the NIGHT-VISION on their camera and it is WAY SCARY]
Janis Ian from Mean Girls: Ow! My shoulder! The baby monster alien thing bit it!
Hud: I still love you.
Military People: Here is the deadline of when you have to get off the island of Manhattan, to add drama.
Generic Hot Dude: We still need to find my not-girlfriend!!
[they go to COLUMBUS CIRCLE and the buildings are like FUCKED]
Generic Hot Dude: I know! We'll just climb to the top of that one building, and hop on over to her building. Easy!!
[they climb like SIXTY STORIES, which is BASICALLY UNTHINKABLE]
Generic Hot Dude: I found you!! ...now what?
Generic Hot Girl: Perhaps our attractiveness will save us.
[they RUN AROUND for a while and look at the DESTRUCTION]
Janis Ian: Gahhhh!!
Hud: Guhhhhh!!
[they DIE in GROSS WAYS]
Generic Hot Dude: Hi, people watching this. We got eaten by a monster or an alien or something.
[the film CUTS BACK to Coney Island for some MODICUM of CLOSURE]
Generic Hot Girl: Look!!! I'm at Coney Island!! Maybe I'm not a snob!!