Confession: I actually seriously really liked this movie. I didn't want to, but that Amanda Bynes is cute as a button, with wonderful comic timing, and I do enjoy Twelfth Night a lot.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[it is SUBURBIA]
Amanda Bynes: I’m sassy and funny and cute and I play sports! Look at me go!
Lame Boyfriend: I will make out with you, but I do not respect your love of soccer.
Amanda Bynes: What?!?!? I’ll show you!!! But how???
Amanda Bynes’ Twin Brother: I know I’m supposed to start boarding school or something, but I’m going to England for two weeks. Cover for me?
Amanda Bynes: Cover for you? I’ll do you one better!! I’ll BE you!!
[a MAKEOVER MONTAGE occurs in which many a MUSTACHE is tried on]
Amanda Bynes: [in a CRAZY MAN VOICE] Hey, bro…you must be mah new roommate.
Hot Roommate: Uh…yes.
[they play SOCCER but Amanda Bynes only makes second string and is MOCKED by all the COOL KIDS]
Amanda Bynes: Hey, hot friends…please come and help me convince the dudes at my new school that I am a ladies’ man.
[they DO, and secure HIS/HER rep as a COOL KID]
Mom of Amanda Bynes and her Brother: Don’t forget that you and your brother BOTH need to be at the festival this weekend!!
[obviously, SHENANIGANS ensue in which the Hot Roommate KISSES Amanda Bynes when she is dressed as a GIRL]
Amanda Bynes: Dang! I’ll still never be able to play in the game against my Lame Ex-Boyfriend if I’m second string!!
Hot Roommate: I totally want to go out with that Olivia. But I’m so nervous, though I am extremely attractive. Help me out! I'll help you make first string!
Amanda Bynes: [aside] But I like my roommate…but he thinks I’m a dude…oh, WHAT TO DO!!?!?!
Olivia: I’ll go out with you, Hot Roommate…but only to make that new guy jealous. He’s dreamy!!
Amanda Bynes: CRAP!
[they go on a DOUBLE DATE with this NERDY girl, Eunice, as Amanda Bynes’ date]
Cool Kid #1: Yo, Eunice is lookin’ fly tonight.*
Cool Kid #2: How come when I said I liked Eunice, you all made fun of me?*
Cool Kid #1: Cause you ain’t that dude.*
Cool Kid #2: I hate high school!!*
Amanda Bynes’ Twin Brother: I’m so glad to be back from England. I hope my sister covered for me.
Olivia: [KISSES him because she thinks he's HIS OWN SISTER dressed as a DUDE]
Amanda Bynes’ Twin Brother: Damn...this school is AWESOME!!
Hot Roommate: You betrayed me!!! You kissed my girl!!
Amanda Bynes: That wasn’t me!! Well, it was, but it wasn’t!! Let’s play soccer and get this straightened out.
[the BIG GAME happens and the BROTHER plays the first half and SUCKS ASS and everyone is all, whaaaaat? But then Amanda Bynes plays the second half and RULES and her Lame Ex-Boyfriend is like, DAAAAMN]
Amanda Bynes: I’m a girl!! [she flashes her BOOBS]
Hot Roommate: Now I will kiss you.
[everyone goes to a DEBUTANTE BALL for some reason and someone turns out to be GAY]
4 comments:
I had NO idea this was based on Twelfth Night. It's like 10 Things I Hate About You but different. Now that I've read your version I totally want to rent it. Or get it from the library AT LEAST.
DO IT. I was pleasantly surprised by its fidelity to the original story while being modern. Though I think they could have done more funny stuff with Malvolio.
When I saw this movie in the theater it was with the most engaged audience that ever existed. People were clapping, jumping up from their seats, exclaiming, laughing uncontrollably. It was like someone gassed the place. I've never seen a movie more thoroughly enjoyed by all. It was weird.
I'm so glad you offered the lines between the two cool kids! Anya and I watched this and I had to stop the movie at that point because I was laughing so hard that the next two scenes went completely unacknowledged. Rock! I also unashamedly loved this film.
P.S. I once played the Duke in college. "If music be the fruit of love..." The Duke was kind of a dick, actually. But a cool character to play!
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