8.16.2007

PIckup on South Street

I saw this film primarily because of the director, Samuel Fuller, who is quickly becoming my favorite 1950s director (nerd!!). The two other movies of his I saw were probably better, but this one was sweet as hell and took place in New York.
~~~~~~~~~~
[it is the 1950s]
Pickpocket: I am the best pickpocket EVER! No one could possibly catch me picking this hot woman's purse!
Feds: We saw you pick her purse.
Pickpocket: No way man!!
Feds: But we saw you because we were tailing her, because she works for...THE COMMUNISTS. She was transporting some film to a lead communist.
Head Fed: You need to help us, or you're as bad as the people who gave Stalin the a-bomb.*
Pickpocket: You wavin' a flag at me?*
[meanwhile, at the COMMUNIST'S house]
Hot Girl: I'm sorry, my purse got picked! I couldnt' deliver the thing you wanted me to deliver, the importance of which I have no idea about.
Commie Dude: Damn! Find the pickpocket and GET BACK THAT FILM!!!
[she finds a CRAZY STOOLIE LADY who helps her find the PICKPOCKET]
Hot Girl: You need to give me that film!!
[he CLOCKS her in the JAW]
Pickpocket: I'm sorry. Let me creepily massage your face and then kiss you.
Hot Girl: Inexplicably, I am attracted to you.
Pickpocket: Everybody likes everybody when they're kissing.*
Hot Girl: Seriously, though, I need the film. Here's $500.
Pickpocket: You bring me $25,000 and I'll think about it.
[the CRAZY STOOLIE LADY warns the pickpocket about the COMMIES]
Commie Dude: Oh HELL no!
[he KILLS the CRAZY STOOLIE LADY and it is SAD]
Hot Girl: I will help you, feds, in honor of the memory of Crazy Stoolie Lady.
Pickpocket: I will also help you in her honor.
[they RETRIEVE the FILM by having an AWESOME FIGHT in the THIRD AVENUE subway station and AMERICA is SAVED]

2 comments:

Ilana said...

In the Third Avenue subway station? I'm unfamiliar.

Movie Maven said...

On the L train, yo!!