Shock Corridor

[it is the 1960s]

Newspaper Editor: Okay, so there’s this unsolved murder that happened in a mental hospital. Someone needs to solve it and write an article about it.
Johnny: GUARANTEED PULITZER!! I know, I’ll fake being crazy and be admitted as a patient. Let’s not tell the staff, though, because then my cover will be blown. Hmmm, what would be a good psychosis?
Editor’s BFF from the Army, who happens to be a psychiatrist: How about incest? Let’s come up with a backstory for you.
[they PRACTICE so he can LEARN to act CRAZY]
Johnny’s Girl: Johnny! Johnny! You can’t do this!
Johnny: I gotta win that Pulitzer! This is clearly the only possible way!! Also, can you pretend to be my sister and commit me?
Johnny’s Girl: No! I have to go work at the strip club now.
[she PERFORMS a SONG and STRIPS, randomly]
Johnny: She’s gotta help me!
Johnny’s Girl: Okay, fine. Since you don’t have a problem with me being a stripper, I’ll commit you.
[he gets COMMITTED and introduced to the other PATIENTS]
Pagliacci: I sing opera, badly!
Johnny: Yes! They really think I’m crazy! Now I can solve the murder! And win that Pulitzer!
[he has a DREAM that his girl is DANCING on his CHEST and TALKING to him]
Dude who thinks he’s in the Confederate Army: Sir, yes, sir! The troops are advancing!
Johnny: Maybe he’ll be lucid in a second.
DWTHITCA: I’m lucid now, and I know that the killer had white pants. Now I’m crazy again.
Johnny: That narrows it down to the doctors and attendants. I’ll brainstorm in this room over here.
[he enters a ROOM full of CRAZY-LOOKING women]
Johnny: NYMPHOS!*
[they ATTACK him because apparently NYMPHOS are not only sexually insatiable but VIOLENT]
Johnny: Ow. Well, on with my investigation.
Black Dude Who is a White Supremacist: Kill the black man! Kill the black man!
[he starts a RACE RIOT in the hallway and he and Johnny get STRAITJACKETED]
BDWIAWS: Okay, I’m lucid now. The killer was an attendant.
Johnny: Cool.
Doctor: Okay, time for shock therapy, because you’re still crazy. No more race riots in the hallway, now.*
[they SHOCK him and he loses his POWER of SPEECH for a little while]
Johnny (VO): WHY CAN’T I SPEAK!??!?!?
Johnny (aloud): Oh, it went away.
Dude Who Thinks He’s Six Years Old: I like to color! I like to color!
Johnny: I’ll just wait until you’re lucid, since apparently I have that effect on people.
DWTHSYO: The killer was Wilkes, the attendant.
Johnny (VO): OH NO!!!! I can’t SPEAK!! I need to ASK HIM!! WHO the KILLER WAS!!
[he FINALLY asks him but then PASSES OUT and CAN’T REMEMBER what dude SAID]
Johnny: I killed him! No, my girl did! No, the doctor!
Doctor: You are crazy.
Johnny: No, I’m a reporter! Call my paper! I’m going to win the Pulitzer!
[he has a CRAZY HALLUCINATION in which it RAINS in the hall of the mental hospital, thus SHOWING that he has somehow “CAUGHT” schizophrenia, though that is COMPLETELY IMPOSSIBLE]

1 comment:

Emily Sue said...

The actor who played Pagliacci was amazing to me, seriously, a damn good actor. So I imdb'd him. He was one of the creators of the Monkee's TV show, and nominated for an Oscar for writing "Bob & Carol & Ted & Alice," AND he was nominated for a Golden Globe for Shock Corridor for "Most Promising Newcomer - Male." Weird.
Larry Tucker is his name.