[it is ALBUQUERQUE, which I totally spelled right the first time, bitches]
Alan Arkin: Where's Steve Carell? Where's Greg Kinnear? Where's that little girl with the stripping and the tracksuit and whatnot?
Amy Adams: That's a different movie, Dad.
Alan Arkin: But I'm still in Albuquerque! And this is a quirky indie comedy with "Sunshine" in the title, right?
Amy Adams: I promise, Dad. Different movie. Much more sad. You can already tell by the first scene, where a dude kills himself in a sporting goods store.
Steve Zahn: I'm in this and I'm not even funny. Like, at all. And usually I'm hilarious.
Amy Adams: It's true. You're a total douche. Your douchiness is compounded by the fact that the guy who is the anti-douche to your douche only has one arm.
Clifton Collins, Jr: I do. I'm so symbolic.
Alan Arkin: Okay, I believe you. Different movie.
[he sells some POPCORN to a CANDY STORE using SALESMAN TECHNIQUE]
Amy Adams: Sigh. I wish my life didn't suck so bad. Sleeping with the married father of my child, working as a maid...
High School Friend: Yes, my maid! Come to my baby shower! Relive your glory days of high school!! See how good everyone else's lives turned out.
Emily Blunt: Ugh, I got fired again. Can you tell by my dark, dark eye makeup that I am a total fuckup?
[she MOPES about]
Steve Zahn: So, maybe you should get into the crime scene cleanup business. It's a total racket, and as your police officer secret lover, I could totally hook you up with jobs! It's just a little blood. And, you know, biohazard stuff.
Amy Adams: No, I'm good, thanks. Working as a maid is totally fine.
[her SON gets kicked out of SCHOOL for LICKING things]
Amy Adams: Okay, maybe I should start a small business of crime scene cleanup to help my child. It can't be THAT hard!
[it IS that hard, but she SUCCEEDS, with some BUMPS along the WAY that you saw in the TRAILER]
Emily Blunt: I feel oddly emotionally connected to this woman who died. I shall return some of her things to her daughter.
[she FOLLOWS the daughter and they somehow become FRIENDS]
Mary Lynn Rajskub: I'm glad we're friends, random woman I met on the street one time who I thought was following me but wasn't.
Emily Blunt: Me too. Wanna come to a party with me?
[they go to a PARTY and KIND OF make out, but only a LITTLE]
Amy Adams: We need to go clean up a crime scene now. I also need to get more supplies from the kind one-armed man at the cleaning supply store.
Clifton Collins, Jr: You can shop at my store ANYTIME!
[they make GOOGLY EYES at each other]
Steve Zahn: What about me? I'll fuck you.
Amy Adams: Oh, right - I forgot. I'm not allowed to be happy. Not in this movie!!
Alan Arkin: I'm going to try to sell some shrimp I bought off the back of a truck! I'm old and weird!
Emily Blunt: Want to go stand under a train trestle and talk about my mom's suicide? She was in a TV movie of the week I've never seen. I feel like if I saw it, it would be super profound.
Mary Lynn Rajskub: Awesome.
Emily Blunt: BTW, I cleaned up your mom's house after she died, and now I have these pictures of you, and that's why I was following you that one day.
Mary Lynn Rajskub: Never call me again.
[she LITERALLY NEVER DOES, because MLR is, like, GONE]
Amy Adams: I want to show those high school girls I've made something of myself!
[she goes to the BABY SHOWER and makes her SISTER go do a JOB by HERSELF]
Baby Shower Guests: Do you like cleaning up crime scenes? Are we masking our disapproval enough?
Amy Adams: You know what? I do like it. For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm good at something. This business has changed my life!!
Emily Blunt: I burned down a client's house trying to catch a kitten and ruined the business.
Amy Adams: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!!!!! I'll still dump Steve Zahn, though.
Steve Zahn: Dang.
[the SON has a BIRTHDAY PARTY and the ONE-ARMED DUDE is there but they DON'T KISS, ever]
Amy Adams: BRB, gotta talk to my mom on the CB radio. [into CB radio] Thanks for killing yourself, asshole.
[she sees the TV MOVIE OF THE WEEK on TV with her mom's ONE LINE about PIE and calls her SISTER so they can CRY and be CATHARTIC]
Emily Blunt: Thank god we saw that movie. I was really worried that since so many threads were left hanging with respect to the other relationships in this movie that the same would be done with that TV movie. Phew. I'm going on a road trip, peace out.
Alan Arkin: And I sold my house and am going to be in the business with you!
Amy Adams: Sweet, I guess?