10.31.2008

Lifetime Movies Week: Selling Innocence


[it is CANADA]
Protagonist: I love being unpopular and wearing boyish clothes. I don't need society's sexualized portrayal of young girls.
Best Friend: Yeah! Awesome! More pseudo-military garb!
Sketchy Dude: Hi. I'm a recruiter for a modeling agency. Even though you are about 5'5" and wear a size 6, I would like to recruit you for modeling.
Mimi Rogers: I don't know. My daughter won't be exploited, will she?
Sketchy Dude: No, this is completely legitimate. Look, here are some magazine covers that my models have appeared on.
Mimi Rogers: Okay.
Protagonist: Sweet! I have had an immediate change of heart on the whole "sexualization of young girls" front, for now I wear slutty clothes!
Cute Boy: Do I not look like an actual personification of that one Jimmy Fallon character who had the stoner web show? Also: hi. Now I notice you, because you have sexy clothes.
Protagonist: I enjoy male attention.
Best Friend: You are different! I don't like you anymore!!
Sketchy Dude: Look at all your subscribers! They are all...modeling...customers. Yes. That's it. What say we take some rather scandalous pictures of you. Nothing too scandalous, now!
Protagonist: Okay! I like the money!
Email: I am a stalker and I will stalk you, you little bitch.
Protagonist: Now I'm scared!
Sketchy Dude: It's just part of the business!!
Mimi Rogers: Where did you get all this money?
Protagonist: Uh...modeling.
[she POSES in her UNDERWEAR some more]
Protagonist: Wait a minute...this is softcore porn. I just realized it!!
Sketchy Dude: Uh...yeah. It is. Sorry. FOOLED YOU!!
Web Watchdog Group Guy: We will help you catch this sketchy dude, but he hasn't done anything illegal yet. Maybe you should agree to do a nude show online so we can catch him.
Protagonist: Are you sure that's the best way?
Web Watchdog Group Guy: Yes. It is the only way.
[he TURNS OUT to be the STALKER from BEFORE and everyone is like WHAT]
Protagonist: I am so stupid!! But at least I made like $30,000.
Cute Boy: I am glad you didn't get killed.
Best Friend: I am glad you're back to your old self.
[they LAUGH and are CANADIAN]

3 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

this one sounds hot! i'm going to go rent it!

RJ said...

"[they LAUGH and are CANADIAN]"

LOL

Lauren Oostveen said...

HAHAHA. This one is gold. How did she manage to be so BLIND to her career in PORN!

It freaks me out when Mimi Rogers is in things. Like, I didn't know she was on X-files for a while, and when I discovered her playing Mulder's EX GIRLFRIEND I got all scared that she converted him to XENU.