Yes, I'm aware that this is a movie typically associated with a particular season, one we're not actually officially all up in yet (though Duane Reade has had Christmas candy for, like, weeks). But I just had to watch this for an assignment, and I forgot how totally awesome it is. A couple of things:
- I basically started weeping immediately
- Donna Reed is way pretty
- "Buffalo Gals" may be officially the most difficult song to extract from your brain.
[it is the UNIVERSE]
A Galaxy: Uh-oh! Looks like some human trouble a-brewin'. Get one of those angels, second class and see if they'll go down and help him.
A Star: Hiya, boss! I'll go down and help this fella, if you promise I can get my wings when I do a good job!
A Galaxy: Well, sure, Clarence! But first, you'll need to learn about this guy you're going to help. What say we spend almost the entire movie getting to know him?
[it is EARLIER in the OLDEN DAYS]
L'il Harry Bailey: I fell in icy water!
L'il George Bailey: I'll save you! I am a good guy!
[his EAR gets FUCKED UP as a result]
Old Pharmacist: I accidentally put poison instead of good medicine in this bottle!
L'il George Bailey: I didn't deliver it, because I know you are a good man.
L'il Violet: Hiiiiiiiiii Geoooorggggge.
[she SMILES in a sort of DISTURBINGLY ADULT WAY at him]
L'il Mary: George, I'm going to talk in your deaf ear and tell you that I love you forever!
[some years LATER]
Jimmy Stewart: I'm going to see the world!! But first, I'll go to the dance at the high school.
Donna Reed: Hey. I'm grown-up now. And hot.
Some Random: He's dancin' with my girl! Right over the conveniently placed crack in the floor that opens up to the swimming pool!
[he OPENS the FLOOR and HILARITY ensues]
Jimmy Stewart: So, can I walk you home? I did get you a bathrobe.
Donna Reed: Okay. But only if we can sing "Buffalo Gals" and throw rocks at the old house and make wishes on it.
[they DO, and she accidentally gets NAKED]
Jimmy Stewart: I cannot impress enough that I really, really want to get out of this town.
Harry Bailey: Our dad had a stroke! Come on!
[Jimmy Stewart gets ROPED INTO staying on at the BUILDING AND LOAN otherwise the BAD GUY will take it over]
Potter: You and your morals!!! I'll get you yet, Bailey!!!!
[FOUR YEARS pass]
Harry Bailey: I'm back from college! And married! Woo hoo!
Mrs. Bailey: Oh, and George - Mary's back from college too. Maybe you should go visit her. Just a suggestion. A strong suggestion.
Donna Reed: Hooray! You're here!
Jimmy Stewart: Yeah. In lame old Bedford Falls.
Donna Reed's Mom: That other suitor is on the phone for you!
[they BOTH talk to the OTHER SUITOR while being EXTREMELY HOT for each other]
Jimmy Stewart: I am so torn between my love for you and my desire to travel the world! I will kiss you and see if that helps matters.
[it DOESN'T, and they get MARRIED]
Jimmy Stewart: We've got so much honeymoon money! This is gonna be AWESOME!!
[there is a RUN on the BANK]
Jimmy Stewart: Everybody just settle down!! Your money's not here! You clearly have a basic misunderstanding of how banking works! I could try to explain it to you, but it's easier to put it this way: your money's in Joe's house!
Angry Mob: Oh! We understand now!
[they use the HONEYMOON MONEY to SAVE the BUSINESS]
Donna Reed: I bought us a dilapidated house and decorated it with posters! Aren't I charming?
[BERT and ERNIE sing a SONG]
Jimmy Stewart: This is better than traveling the world! Okay, maybe not, but my wife is totally awesome, though we are poor.
Potter: If you worked for me, you'd make a lot more money...
Jimmy Stewart: No way! I have integrity! Which is way better than money! Suckaaaa!
[some MORE YEARS pass, and they build a HOUSING DEVELOPMENT, and have some BABIES, and WWII happens]
Jimmy Stewart: My life is sweeeeeeeeet. Everyone loves me, I build awesome houses, I have a super-hot wife who basically built me a house, and four totally awesome kids.
Uncle Billy: I lost $8000.
Potter: Muhahahahaaaaa! Now the Building and Loan SHALL BE MIIIIIINE!!!
Jimmy Stewart: [complete freakout]
[he goes to the RIVER in a DRUNKEN STATE and is considering SUICIDE, which is really pretty DARK]
Clarence: Save me! I fell in the river you were thinking of drowning yourself in!
Jimmy Stewart: My sense of morality is too strong. I must save this stranger.
Clarence: Thanks. I'm your guardian angel, by the way. Please don't kill yourself, or I won't get my wings.
Jimmy Stewart: What the fuuuuuuck?
Clarence: Ho ho ho. You must be so confused. But seriously - don't kill yourself.
Jimmy Stewart: Well, then I wish I was never born.
Clarence: Okay. Done.
[they WALK AROUND and see how SHITTY the town is without GEORGE BAILEY]
Jimmy Stewart: Oh...maybe my life is worth living after all.
Donna Reed: You're home! I hope your psychotic break is cured! And look! All our neighbors brought us a ton of money to cover the missing $8000!
[a BELL RINGS]
Adorable Child: Teacher says, every time a bell reeengs, an angel gets his weeengs.*
[everyone is HAPPY and CHRISTMASY]