Classic Musicals Week: My Fair Lady

[it is LONDON]
Some Dude: I talk like a gutter person.
Rex Harrison: My God, man! Take pride in your speech! "Why can't the English" learn to speak? And why can't I learn to sing? Oh, well.
Colonel Pickering: Oh! Hello! I was looking for you! How convenient!
Audrey Hepburn: Buy some flaaaahrs!! Flaaaaaaaaaahrs!
Henry Higgins: God. If she talked better, I could pass her off as a princess.
Audrey Hepburn: "Wouldn't it be loverly" if I could be a princess? I mean, all I really need is a warm room, but being a princess would be sweet too.
[she TRACKS him down and he TAKES HER ON as a student, though he is a TOTAL DOUCHE all the time]
Rex Harrison: I mean, I don't want much. I'm just "an ordinary man." But I definitely don't want a woman around. Well, unless she is a woman on which I am basing a bet.
[meanwhile, in a STREET]
Mr. Doolittle: I don't have a real job! I guess I'm a dustman or something, but mostly I just hang out with my bros and wear this sweet hat! "With a little bit of luck," I'll never have to actually do anything!
Some neighbor: Well, your daughter's shacking up with some rich guy. FYI.
[he GOES to Higgins' house to try to GET MONEY and CHARMS Higgins]
Audrey Hepburn: Gahhhh!! I don't want to say any more vowels! "Just you wait, Henry Higgins," because I will actually kill you. That's how much I hate you.
[they work REALLY HARD all the time and she SWALLOWS a MARBLE]
Rex Harrison: Don't worry...I have plenty of marbles.*
The Servants: God. He works so hard.
Audrey Hepburn: Hey! I can talk like a lady now!! I can say "the rain in spain stays mainly in the plain."
[GENERAL FREAKOUT on Wimpole Street]
Rex Harrison: Okay, let's go to Ascot.
[they DO, and everyone is wearing BLACK and WHITE and it's THE MOST STYLIZED THING EVER]
Genteel Society: We are scandalized.
Freddy: But I love her.
[they go to a BALL and she passes as a PRINCESS]
Colonel Pickering: "You did it," Higgins! This flower slut did nothing at all! It's all you!
Audrey Hepburn: You guys are jackasses.
Freddy: I love you! I love being "on the street where you live"!!
Audrey Hepburn: You know, you can talk all you want, Freddy, but I'm going to need to you "show me" that you love me.
Freddy: Oh. Uh. Never mind.
[she goes to MRS. HIGGINS' house and is GENTEEL for a while]
Mr. Doolittle: Hey! I'm getting married! Just so you guys know. You'll need to "get me to the church" on time. Since I'm a drunk, and might forget.
Audrey Hepburn: That's awesome, dad. I'm striking out on my own now.
Rex Harrison: But..."I've grown accustomed to [your] face." Isn't that just the most romantic thing anyone's ever said?
Audrey Hepburn: Not particularly. But as this is a movie and not a play, let's make it seem as though we have fallen in love and will end up together.

1 comment:

deedlejuse said...

hey Movie Maven this is Deedlejuse from beautifile, I've never seen you site before, but I found it today. This stuff is HYSTERICAL!