The Shawshank Redemption

[it is the OLDEN DAYS]
Judge: You are guilty of killing your wife and her lover!!
Tim Robbins: I...uh...no...I'm not. Seriously. I mean, I look very suspicious, but seriously. I didn't do it.
Judge: You are sentenced to life in prison!! TWICE!!!
[meanwhile, in that AFOREMENTIONED PRISON]
Parole Board: So, do you think you're fixed?
Morgan Freeman: Oh, yes, sir, I'm a changed man, mm-hmm, I certainly am, sir.
Huge Red Stamp: REJECTED!!
Morgan Freeman: I'm a prisoner. And a smooth-voiced narrator. Time was, I was in prison. I ran that shit. I got cigarettes for everyone.
Tim Robbins: I didn't do it.
Morgan Freeman: Suuuuuuuure. Everyone in here is innocent, didn't you know?
Tim Robbins: Can you get me some unorthodox items? I will not use them for anything but making chess pieces.
[he DOES]
Tim Robbins: I know things about taxes, because I was a banker. Also, I am innocent.
[he does some TAX THINGS and gets BEER for his BUDDIES and they drink it on the ROOF and it looks DELICIOUS]
Scary Convict: You better blow me, fish!
Tim Robbins: Anything you put in my mouth, you're gonna lose.*
[he gets BEAT UP but is RESPECTED after that]
The Warden: So I hear you're good with numbers. Let's do some taxes. I'm sure giving a convict who insists he's innocent access to all my financial information isn't a bad idea at all.
[the REALLY OLD DUDE gets RELEASED but the world is TOO MUCH and he HANGS HIMSELF and it is WAY SAD]
Tim Robbins: I'm innocent! And I'm going to play opera over the loudspeakers!
Morgan Freeman: I do love opera. And performing voiceovers. Let me narrate soothingly to you some more. Also, and this is important, now, Tim Robbins has a poster of a different, era-appropriate bombshell in his cell. Don't you go forgettin' that.
A Guy Who Should Probably Be Played By Either Dermot Mulroney or Dylan McDermot, But Is Neither: I'm new here! And a punk! But I wanna learn!
Tim Robbins: I shall teach you with the many books I have assembled in this prison.
Non-Dermot: Oh, also: I had a cellmate who said he killed a banker's wife, and the banker got convicted for it.
The Warden: WHAAAAAT? Have him killed.
[the guards SHOOT HIM and it is WAY SAD AGAIN]
Tim Robbins: But I'm innocent!!!!
Morgan Freeman: Me too, son. Me too. I'd like to go to Mexico, but I guess I'm in here instead. Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'.*
Tim Robbins: Let me tell you about an out-of-the-way place I know about that seems insignificant and maybe weird now, but will make sense later.
[he ESCAPES because ALL THE TIME he was digging a TUNNEL and HIDING it under the GIRLIE POSTERS and you're like YESSSSS THAT IS AWESOME]
The Warden: WHAAAAAAT??
[he gets TOTALLY BUSTED for all the CORRUPTION and shit, but KILLS himself before they can GET HIM]
Morgan Freeman: Oh, my! This is the most exciting, yet most soothing part of the narration.
Parole Board: So, do you think you're fixed?
Morgan Freeman: I don't give a shit.*
Huge Red Stamp: APPROVED!!
[he FINDS the money in the OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACE and goes to MEXICO and they are FRIENDS and it is WONDERFUL]

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