6.21.2008

Sight Unseen: Wanted


[it is a BORING OFFICE]
James McAvoy: I wish something would happen in my boring, boring life. I mean, I am the most unorthodoxically hot short man since...well, kind of ever, but I'm just an office drone.
Angelina Jolie: HELLO. YOU HAVE POWERS. I HAVE TATTOOS. COME WITH ME.
[he DOES, because HELLO it's Angelina Jolie and I'm pretty sure EVERYONE would have sex with her]
Morgan Freeman: I am wise, and old, and also an assassin. Here is some information about your father, who worked with us. He could curve bullets, and so can you, and now you have to work for us.
James McAvoy: The opportunities for hilarity based on my nebbishness are endless!
[he does something DORKY, but then he gets BETTER at ASSASSINING]
Angelina Jolie: YOU HAVE IMPRESSED ME. NOW WE WILL HAVE SEX.
[they DO and it is HOT but WEIRD]
Morgan Freeman: Here is the assignment OF YOUR LIFE.
[a bunch of COOL SHIT happens with CARS and TRAINS and GUNS and BOOBS and FIRE and EXPLOSIONS and AWESOMENESS]
James McAvoy: Awesome.

14 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I WANT TO SEE THIS MOVIE. SO MANY CHICKS AND PUNCHES.

Also, I just realized that James McAvoy was in that mini series I finished watching last night. OMG he is gorgeoussssss.

nat said...

Oh I can't wait to see this movie! What a great review!

John A said...

It's fun watching Wee Jimmy McAvoy in an action movie.

This was completely Shoot Em Up meets the Matrix, with some Office Space sprinkles on top. Yummy.

BeckEye said...

This is exactly how I imagine this movie also, which is exactly why I won't see it.

And I must be the only woman living today who doesn't think James McAvoy is hot. He looks like someone's paper boy.

Movie Maven said...

I reject your postulation that "paper boy" equals "not hot."

Case in point: Newsies*

*valid when I was like 12 years old.

John A said...

I was prepared to scoff at the "Newsies = Hot" comment, but a quick google of "Hot Newsies" turns up more hits than I'm comfortable with. And evidently, Max Casella has quite a following too.

I also can't view McAvoy as hot, though the paperboy angle hadn't entered into it. That said, boy did he buff up for this one.

Movie Maven said...

First, it's not that "Newsies = Hot," it's just that "Newsies do not necessarily = Not Hot."

Also, two words to support that hypothesis: Christian Bale.

That said, I like looking at Young Jimmy Mac on the screen, but were he standing next to me, 3" shorter than me (I'm wearing heels, you see), I probably would tell him we could just be friends.

John A said...

As someone the same height as Wee Jimmy (or even shorter, depending on the press clipping), I'm going to go cry in the corner at your shunning.

Movie Maven said...

Hey man, you called him "wee."

John A said...

Self-hatred is common among us gnomes.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

To Movie Maven in a g-chat:

"I would never, ever tell James McAvoy we could just be friends. I would get surgery to shorten myself first."

Call me!

j style said...

the fateLoom made me do it.

Rural Juror said...

Actually, I expected a plot like this, but it wasn't like this actually. It was actually kind of good. I say this as a huge movie snob.

Movie Maven said...

@Rural Juror: Concurred. I saw it and liked it a lot, actually.