6.17.2008

Sight Unseen: Hancock


[it is AMERICA]
Discontented Post-9/11 Citizens: We need a superhero!
Will Smith: Oh YEAH? Superhero THIS!!
[he FLIES drunkenly and throws a WHALE onto a BOAT]
Will Smith: WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? I can do WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT.
Jason Bateman: As your incredibly attractive PR guy, I gotta tell you, man: people hate you. And I don't mean Hancock. I mean Will Smith. Who do you think you are, man? You used to be cool.
Will Smith: What? I got Oscar noms, bitch!
[he does more SUPERHERO STUFF that ends up being NOT HELPFUL]
Citizens: You're going to jail!
Will Smith: Aw HELLLL naw!
[he FUCKS with the PRISONERS to HILARIOUS RESULTS]
Citizens: Oh, wait, we need you now. Please come back out of jail.
Will Smith: I have been "scared straight." Now I will be overly helpful instead of a drunk.
[he SAVES the WORLD]

1 comment:

hot-ham-water said...

this is basically brilliant!