5.31.2008

Son of Rambow


[it is ENGLAND in the 1980s]
Christian Kid: Sigh. My religion is so crazy. I can't even watch TV at school.
Badass Kid: Smokin' in the movie theater! Pirating Rambo for my big brother! I'm a badass!
[they MEET via FORTUITOUS circumstances involving a BROKEN goldfish bowl]
Badass Kid: Now you have to give me your dead dad's watch and help me make a movie wherein we do extremely dangerous stunts!
Christian Kid: Okay. I'll pray about it, too.
[they FILM some stunts and it is CUTE]
Chuck from Gossip Girl: Oi! Li-ull bruvvah! Bring me my bacon!
Badass Kid: But I gave you this watch for your birthday! Now you can see why I am such a bully...my brother is mean and my parents are always in Spain.
[meanwhile, at SCHOOL]
Redheaded Nerdy Kid: I really hope I get a cool French exchange student buddy. That would give me so much cred.
[the COOLEST FRENCH KID EVER steps off the bus, displaying his BRIGHT RED BOOTS]
Cool Frenchie: Bonjour...l'Angleterre.*
[meanwhile, at CHRISTIAN HOME]
Christian Mom: You need to stop hanging out with those mainstream kids. Here is a story about how I loved pop music as a girl and how it destroyed my relationship with the freaky religious community to which we belong.
Christian Kid: Okay.
[INSTEAD, he becomes BLOOD BROTHERS with the Badass Kid, who builds him a FLYING DOG]
Cool Frenchie: Je suis bored out of my mind. Find me something to do besides test out all the girls at this school by making out with them.
Redheaded Nerdy Kid: Look! A flying dog!
[they get INVOLVED with the MOVIE, wherein Cool Frenchie plays a character named WOLF]
Badass Kid: I thought we were blood brothers! I tried to give you a present! But you like Cool Frenchie more than you like me!
Christian Kid: But I'm cool now! We're in the SIXTH FORM common room! It's AWESOME!
[many SIXTH FORM students are shown with EIGHTIES FASHIONS and lots and lots of EYELINER]
Christian Kid: Okay, everyone, let's go to a highly dangerous deserted lot and finish filming the movie!
[they DO, and he falls in a HOLE filled with OIL and everyone BOUNCES, but the Badass Kid SAVES him]
Badass Kid: Whatevs, I still hate you! At least my brother is there for me!
[he gets CRUSHED by FALLING SHIT but doesn't DIE]
Christian Kid: It's all my fault!!
Christian Sister: I found a present in the yard. It's the watch you gave your friend.
[everyone's HEART is WARMED]
Christian Mom: Your dalliance with the mainstream world has made me realize that our way of life is kind of fucked up.
[she REMOVES her HEADSCARF to show that she is DONE with the weird religion]
Christian Kid: Now I just need to make everything right.
[he goes to the BIG BROTHER and they EDIT the movie and SURPRISE the Badass Kid with a showing at the LOCAL THEATER]
Badass Kid: Now we are friends again.

2 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Aw, this movie sounds really sweet.

Movie Maven said...

It's ridiculously adorable without being cloying. I loved it!