All the Animals: Hooray! A new lion prince!
Scar: Dammit! I thought I was going to be king.
[the BABY LION gets BIGGER and sings about how AWESOME a king he will be]
Scar: I just had a sweet idea after reading Hamlet. Come on, hench-hyenas.
Whoopi Goldberg: Awwwww yeah!
[he KILLS the king and makes the LION PRINCE think it’s his fault]
Simba: Noooooo! My guilt!
[he RUNS AWAY and meets up with a FRIENDLY WARTHOG and MEERKAT]
Timon: We live life to the fullest.
[they HANG OUT for a while and Simba GROWS UP during a SONG about LIFE being EASY]
Nala: Hey, come avenge your father’s death. It sucks now that Scar is our leader.
Simba: You’re pretty, so I will.
[he BATTLES Scar and WINS but no one EVER tells him that it’s NOT HIS FAULT that his DAD died]
Simba: I guess I’m the king now, though I have no real leadership experience, except of leading a warthog and meerkat who I really should have eaten.