2.06.2008

The Lion King

I actually sort of hate this one, but for those damn those catchy tunes!! Oh, Elton John...you so crazy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[it is AFRICA]
All the Animals: Hooray! A new lion prince!
Scar: Dammit! I thought I was going to be king.
[the BABY LION gets BIGGER and sings about how AWESOME a king he will be]
Scar: I just had a sweet idea after reading Hamlet. Come on, hench-hyenas.
Whoopi Goldberg: Awwwww yeah!
[he KILLS the king and makes the LION PRINCE think it’s his fault]
Simba: Noooooo! My guilt!
[he RUNS AWAY and meets up with a FRIENDLY WARTHOG and MEERKAT]
Timon: We live life to the fullest.
Pumbaa: [FARTS]
[they HANG OUT for a while and Simba GROWS UP during a SONG about LIFE being EASY]
Nala: Hey, come avenge your father’s death. It sucks now that Scar is our leader.
Simba: You’re pretty, so I will.
[he BATTLES Scar and WINS but no one EVER tells him that it’s NOT HIS FAULT that his DAD died]
Simba: I guess I’m the king now, though I have no real leadership experience, except of leading a warthog and meerkat who I really should have eaten.
[everyone SINGS]

5 comments:

BeckEye said...

How can you hate The Lion King? Hakuna matata!!

Might I suggest a naked Ewan McGregor movie theme for next week? I'm sure there must be at least 5-7 movies where he shows his wang.

Movie Maven said...

BeckEye...you. are. a. GENIUS.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I get "Can You Feel The Love Tonight" stuck in my head at least once a month and I have no idea why.

Another suggestion for a future Week O' Similar Movies: Hitchcock! Kind of cliched but still awesome and probably good for condensation.

BeckEye said...

I thought of it because one of my friends and I keep talking about having a "Naked Ewan McGregor Film Festival" night, but it hasn't happened yet. Eventually.

John A said...

In the interest of gender equity, I will suggest a naked Kate Winslet movie week too. This could also simply be called "Kate Winslet Week". I swear, she must have some odd exhibitionist clause in her standard contract. I'm sure there's a director's cut of Sense and Sensibility where she gets naked for some reason.

And I'll wager you could compress Titanic into 20 words or less. (Actually, the bunnies already did that...)