Aladdin: I’m hungry, monkey sidekick! Let’s steal some bread…in SONG!
Princess Jasmine: I’m sooooo bored. Being a princess is lame.
[a BUNCH of suitors come, but they all SUCK]
Princess Jasmine: Peace out, bitches. I’m doing the royal undercover bit.
Aladdin: Hey! You seem to be not very street-smart. I shall help you, for you are very beautiful.
[they get into some SCRAPES and he is ARRESTED and THROWN in JAIL because they think he KIDNAPPED the princess]
Princess Jasmine: Hey! What happened to that fun guy I met out on the town?
Jafar: We killed him. Sorry.
[Jafar uses his MAGIC SWIRLY THING and realizes that Aladdin can LEAD him to the MAGIC LAMP]
Jafar: So…we’re going to go out into the desert. Alone. It’ll be fun!! Just go get me this lamp, and make sure not to touch anything.
[the FREAKING MONKEY touches something and the CAVE swallows them]
Aladdin: Ha HA! My street smarts have saved me again, for I have kept the lamp. Suckaaa!
Jafar: Nooooooooo!! I shall prevail!!
[Aladdin RUBS the lamp and a GENIE appears because HELLO it's MAGIC]
Robin Williams: Though I am a cartoon, I still play myself.
[he SINGS about being a GENIE, which kind of SUCKS since you live in a LAMP]
Aladdin: Okay, well, obviously, my first wish is to get out of this cave. And also I would like to marry Princess Jasmine.
Robin Williams: I can’t make her love you, but I can give you many material things that most girls like.
[they SING about how many CAMELS and DANCERS and shit he has]
Princess Jasmine: This does not impress me, for I am my own person. I don’t need no man!!
Aladdin: What else you got, genie?
[he takes her on a LITERAL MAGIC CARPET RIDE across, like, the WORLD]
Princess Jasmine: You are a very good singer. Have we met before?
Aladdin: Uh…no.
Jafar: Noooooo!! My evil plans!! Foiled!!!! BUT WAIT!
[he STEALS the lamp and becomes ALL-POWERFUL and does a bunch of EVIL STUFF]
Princess Jasmine: Why am I wearing this sexy red outfit?
Jafar: Because you are my SLAVE now! HAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
Aladdin: Hey, wouldn’t you like to be a genie?? He's waaaaaay more powerful than you.
Jafar: Ooh, good call!
[he WISHES to be a GENIE and is STUCK in a LAMP for a THOUSAND YEARS]
Aladdin: Suckaaaaa!
[he WISHES the genie FREE but the genie is still all BIG and BLUE]
Princess Jasmine: You are tooooootally that dude from the street.
Aladdin: Yeah. Sorry I lied. Let’s kiss.
[everyone SINGS]

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