mark wahlberg: um, yeah, so...here's my dad's body.
crime boss: thanks. now get out of here, for your father has left our organized crime tribe of irish nomads. and don't go messin' around with my daughter.
mark wahlberg: but...i have nowhere else to go! and your daughter's super hot!
bill paxton: cool, why don't you ride with me?
[they buy an RV and then SELL it for BIG PROFITS. mark wahlberg calls the BOSS' HOT DAUGHTER all the time, TOYING with danger at every TURN]
julianna margulies: come on in to my dive bar.
mark wahlberg: aren't you, like, way too classy for this?
julianna margulies: yes, but please try to believe me as a down-on-my-luck single mom bartender. it's not my fault i was miscast.
[marky mark and bill paxton run a SCAM on julianna margulies but FEEL BAD about it and GIVE BACK her money]
bill paxton: p.s. you're hot.
julianna margulies: aren't you, like, a con artist?
bill paxton: hot, right?
julianna margulies: yes.
[they have CRAZY SEX in her kitchen]
james gammon (aka standard western character actor): hey, i know i scammed you guys before, but can we run a scam together?
bill paxton and mark wahlberg: awesome!
[they run a SCAM on some TURKISH MOBSTERS involving COUNTERFEIT MONEY which is literally the MOST COMPLICATED SCAM in the WHOLE WORLD]
everyone: money!!!!!!!
julianna margulies: now my daughter can have that ear surgery she needs. i mentioned that briefly earlier. you may have missed it.
crime boss: now you're accepted. welcome to the irish nomad scam artist tribunal thing.

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