5.31.2007

Everyone Says I Love You


[it is NEW YORK]
Edward Norton: Drew Barrymore, I love you so much that I'm going to sing about it!!
[he DOES, with help from NANNIES and STREET PEOPLE]
Natasha Lyonne: Sup. Here's my crazy family. There's a lot of us, and we do crazy stuff. Also, we sometimes sing.
Alan Alda: My son cannot be a Republican! We are New York Democrats! Take THAT, flyover country!!
Edward Norton: Please help me pick out a ring for your sister...in SONG!
[he and Natasha Lyonne have a DANCE BREAK at Harry Winston]
Drew Barrymore: OMG, this dessert is AMAZING! Wait, I just ate the engagement ring! NOOOO!!
[they go the HOSPITAL and sing "MAKIN' WHOOPEE with many EXPECTANT MOTHERS]
Goldie Hawn: As a New York Democrat, I fight for the little guy whilst I have many clothes and jewels. Here, meet this nice, recently released convict.
Tim Roth: Hey, ladies.
Drew Barrymore: I'm about to swoon! In song!
[she DUMPS Ed Norton for the CONVICT but then thinks BETTER of it]
Natasha Lyonne: 'Kay, now I'm going to my dad's house in Paris. My dad and mom and stepdad all kick it, because we're a modern family. Also, I give my dad relationship advice.
Woody Allen: That woman, she's, she's gorgeous, but I think she's married.
Natasha Lyonne: No worries! I know everything about her because her shrink is my mom's friend and I heard her therapy session! Use all this information to get her to fall for you! That couldn't possibly backfire!
[he WOOS her with the INFORMATION and she thinks he is in her BRAIN and/or DREAMS]
Julia Roberts: Hey, it's me again, Julia Roberts. Though I am essentially the same whenever you see me, somehow it works here.
[everyone goes to PARIS and does a GROUCHO MARX number at CHRISTMAS]
Woody Allen: I still love you.
Goldie Hawn: Let's dance on the riverbank.
[they DO, with WIRES, and it is LOVELY]
Everyone: I love you.

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