4.24.2007

Garden State

[it is LA]
Zach Braff: I don't know where my life is going. I wish something momentous would happen to change all that, with a soundtrack to end all soundtracks.
His dad: Your mom is dead.
Zach Braff: That'll work.
[it is NEW JERSEY]
High School Friends: Duuuuuuuude! How's LA? Let's get wasted!
Zach Braff: I am confused about what my life has become. I wish I would meet someone quirky.
Natalie Portman: Here, listen to this song. It will change your life in an extremely clich├ęd manner. Let's have a funeral for this hamster now.
Zach Braff: I find your quirkiness adorably attractive. Let's hang out and ride on a motorcycle.
[they go to THIS DUDE'S MANSION and HANG OUT]
Dude: I invented silent Velcro.
Zach Braff: I paralyzed my mom.
Everyone: Life is intense.
Peter Saaaarsgaaaard: I want to give you something, but we have to ride around on your motorcycle and go to a bunch of crazy places.
[they go to SOME PLACES and get SOME STUFF until they end up at a HOUSEBOAT by a QUARRY]
Zach Braff: I shall yell into this quarry to signify how my life has changed.
[they ALL yell and then Natalie Portman and Zach Braff MAKE OUT while Saaaaarsgaaaaard looks on AWKWARDLY]
Peter Saaaarsgaaaard: Here. I stole this necklace from your dead mom.
Zach Braff: Thanks. Now I understand life.
Natalie Portman: Please don't leave.
Zach Braff: I must.
[he gets on the PLANE and then GETS OFF AGAIN]
Zach Braff: Okay, I'll stay.
[they presumably live QUIRKILY ever after and listen to a bunch of BANDS]

5 comments:

Emily Sue said...

Perfect synopsis, however, what about the guy in the suit of armor? That was some quirkiness/pretentiousness wrapped with a bow!

Nicole said...

ah, perpetually postponed adulthood...

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I can't believe that all of this stuff happened in this movie. I remember nothing except for the beginning because I was making out with someone during most of it. Wait, actually that's not true-- someone was trying to make out with me during this entire movie and I guess I was exerting so much energy trying to foil his attempts that I somehow missed the entire movie.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

ha.

Movie Maven said...

a) maybe i should have a "Made Out During" tag. I could include Backdraft. Classy.

b) that link is priceless.