3.27.2007

Jarhead

[it is WAR]
Jake Gyllenhaal
: Oops. I joined the Marine Corps.
Peter Sarsgaard: Yeah...oops.
Jamie Foxx: Although I trick you and yell at you, I will be a role model for you all.
Jake Gyllenhaal's Girlfriend: I'm just like all the other Marines' girls...unfaithful.
[they go to IRAQ, where they WALK AROUND in the desert, HYDRATE, WALK AROUND some more and DANCE to GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT]
Chris Cooper: Here's an assignment, snipers.
Jake Gyllenhaal and Peter Sarsgaard: Sweet!
Dennis Haysbert: Actually, we don't need snipers. We'll just blow it up.
Jake Gyllenhaal: Dang.
[everyone learns a LESSON]

Grade for movie: A
Grade for Jamie Foxx: A+. That guy rules.
Grade for Jake Gyllenhaal dancing naked in a Santa hat: A++++

3 comments:

humboldt honey said...

Do you really give this movie an A or is that called sarcasm?

I haven't seen it, but I heard it's overrated.

Your version of it, however, is awesome.

Movie Maven said...

i really did like it, in all honesty. i've never been a soldier, but i have heard tell from friends who have been that it is a lot of sitting around waiting, and that's what this movie was, without being boring. also, the acting was solid.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

i never knew what this movie was about or that jake gyllenhaal was in it. i always had this vague idea that it had to do with christianity but i just realized that that's because of that christian rock band (that i've actually never even heard) called jars of clay. this is clearly unrelated.

also, your review made this sound like the worst movie ever made but (a) you gave it an A and (b) jake g is a very attractive boy so (c) i will never see it because i don't like war movies.