3.22.2007

The Host

There are several posters for this movie; this one is my favorite because although this is a scene from the movie, it contains neither the family at the center of the movie (though that is the little girl for whom they are searching), or the monster. Although I was confused for a good portion of the film, the more I think about this movie, the more I like it. It's totally genre-less, and while for some people that might be jarring, I really enjoyed it. In retrospect, though. During the movie, I was confused.
~~~~~~~~~~~
[it is 2001]
US Military Commander: Dude, pour that formaldehyde down the drain.
Korean Lackey: But this drain goes right into the Han River!
Us Military Commander: I represent the UNITED STATES OF AMERICA and we do whatever the hell we want!!!!! POUR IT!
[he POURS a bunch of TOXIC CHEMICALS down the DRAIN]
Fisherman in the Han River: Look, I found a little creature.
Other fisherman: What is it?
Fisherman: I don’t know. Now it swam away. I certainly hope it wasn’t something that will soon grow large and terrorize our fair riverbank.
[it GROWS into something LARGE and TERRORIZES the fair RIVERBANK]
Gang-du: My hair is blonde. I wonder if that says anything about the fact that I am a man-child. [SNORES]
Gang-du’s Dad: Wake up, lazy! Your daughter Hyun-seo is home from school!
[they WATCH Gang-du’s sister Nam-joo in an ARCHERY contest on TV, which is a SKILL that MAY come in handy LATER]
Hyun-seo: Da-aaaaaaaaad! I need a new pho-oooooone!!
Gang-du: We can’t afford it!
Hyun-seo: Well, what if a huge monster terrorizes the riverbank and you try to kill it and then in revenge, it eats me and regurgitates me in a sewer somewhere and I try to call you but my cell phone sucks and I can’t call back and you spend a long time trying to find me? How will you feel then, DAD?
[all that STUFF she said TOTALLY HAPPENS]
Gang-du: Crap. Come on, family, let’s find Hyun-seo.
Military dude: You can’t. You have a virus that the river creature is carrying. [FALLS DOWN for no reason except that it’s FUNNY] Unfortunately, our government doesn’t handle outbreaks of deadly viruses very well.
Gang-du: That doesn’t sound like our government AT ALL!! *cough*SARS*cough*
[the FAMILY busts through the barricades to SEARCH for Hyun-seo]
News Report: Even though there’s a huge-ass monster that looks like some sort of squid-iguana-sandworm-from-Dune, we are searching for an family infected with this alleged virus, because in this time of national crisis, we need SOME sort of scapegoat.
[they get split up and ALL encounter OBSTACLES, but end up FIGHTING the monster TOGETHER]
Gang-du: Let’s kill this bitch!!
[they all use their SKILLS that were introduced EARLIER to KILL the monster, but it already ATE Hyun-seo]
Gang-du: Well, hello, little boy who was in the sewer with Hyun-seo and just got regurgitated by the monster. Want to be my child?
Little Boy: Okay.
[they live HAPPILY EVER AFTER in the food stand]

3 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

I COVERED my EYES during the entire PREVIEW of this MOVIE.

Russell said...

Seriously, this looks so awesome. You must face your fears, overcoat!

Emily Sue said...

The more I think about it the more I like it, too. It was great!

I don't think you left anything out with that synopsis. Spot on!