The Holiday

i originally posted this after i saw it (yes, in the theater), and i think the dvd just came out or something, so this is totally timely.
yeah, it's a schlocky christmas film that i probably could have written, it's so formulaic. but in my defence: i love love love kate winslet more than anything. also, i love jack black. also, jude law is ridiculously good-looking. so just shut up.

[it is CHRISTMAS.]
cameron diaz/kate winslet: men are terrible. maybe a trip will cure my sadness.
jude law: hey, where's my sister?
cameron diaz: in LA. you're, like, crazy gorgeous.
jude law: wow, you're hot.
cameron diaz: let's have sex now.*
[they DO]
cameron diaz: why are all these women calling you?
jude law: i am secretive, yet adorable. let's go on a real date.
[back in LA, it is WINDY]
jack black: when the santa anas blow, anything can happen.*
kate winslet: you seem adorable, but i'm kind of not over my ex-boyfriend. hey, adorable old man who lives next door! wanna hang?
adorable old man: yes. let me regale you with tales of old hollywood and also movie terminology.
[they DO. they also WORK OUT in the POOL so the old man doesn't need his WALKER anymore]
kate winslet: i am inspired by this adorable old man.
[back in ENGLAND]
cameron diaz: oh, those women calling were your daughters! they're adorable!
jude law: my wife died. also, i love you.
cameron diaz: WHAT SHALL I DO?!?!?!? i am torn between love and...well, actually my life at home kind of sucked, although i am rich.
[back in LA]
jack black: let's hang.
kate winslet: fine.
[they visit BLOCKBUSTER, where jack black REGALES her with MOVIE SCORES that he likes in an ADORABLE manner.]
rufus sewell: i flew here from england to tell you: i love you still.
kate winslet: um, aren't you engaged? you're ruff. go away.
jack black: if i come to england for new year's, will you go out with me?*
kate winslet: i just realized how adorable you are. yes.
[back in ENGLAND, where cameron diaz is on her way to the AIRPORT]
cameron diaz: stop the car! i just realized that i love him! i couldn't cry before and now i can! eureka!
[she runs, INEXPLICABLY, back to the COTTAGE]
jude law: yesssssss.
jack black and kate winslet: we're here!
[they all DANCE to ADORABLE music and LOVE each other, ADORABLY]
audience: [pukes]

number of montages = about 25
number of scenes devoted to the leading lady rocking out alone in her loneliness = 2 (1 per leading lady)
number of humourously adorable/sickening glances = about 1000000
number of cute-ass kids = 2
number of cliched lines = (number of lines in movie) - (jack black's lines)
number of times movie paralleled past and/or current situation in my life/lives of my friends = 213

*actual line from movie

1 comment:

Emily Sue said...

You know I just saw the DVD. Hit the nail on the head with this one. Love the formula for number of cliched lines. What I enjoyed most about the movie is how Kate Winslet spontaneously becomes a physical therapist. Awesome.