3.19.2007

10 Things I Hate About You


[it is HIGH SCHOOL, and SHAKESPEARE-ADAPTATION LAND]
Julia Stiles: I'm so edgy and badass. I certainly hope no one enters my life to change my angsty teenage view of the world.
Girl from Alex Mack: Eeeaaauuugh! Why do you have to be so angsty all the time? GOD! My life sucks because my sister is LAME!!!!
Larry Miller: Girls, girls. I'm going to make a rule. Now, this is going to seem weird, because we're not actually in a Shakespeare play, but the new rule is that once the older one has a date, the younger one can too.
Alex Mack: WHAAAAATTT??!?!? [STORMS off in a HUFF]
[at SCHOOL, which is cleverly called PADUA HIGH, so all the THEATER GEEKS can chuckle about it]
Kid from Third Rock: That girl is SO FINE. What's her deal?
David Krumholtz, my Jewish boyfriend: You can't go out with her, not without many obstacles to overcome. Plus, her sister's a bitch. Also, that Hot Stupid Dude likes her.
Third Rock: Maybe some sort of elaborate plan would be useful here.
[they devise an ELABORATE PLAN that involves Heath Ledger, the two sisters, the Hot Stupid Dude, and MONEY changing hands]
Third Rock: Hmmm. The elaborate plan seems to not be working. Well, let's continue it anyway.
[they all go to a PARTY, where people get WASTED and then BETRAYED]
Julia Stiles: You're cute. I guess my angst was just a veneer after all.
Heath Ledger: No one can resist me.
[they play PAINTBALL and MAKE OUT and it's totally CUTE]
Third Rock: That worked out surprisingly well. I sure hope Angsty McAngsterson over there doesn't find out about the elaborate plan from earlier or she's gonna be PISSED.
[she DOES, at PROM, because EVERYTHING happens at PROM]
Julia Stiles: I HATE YOU!!!!!!
Heath Ledger: Sorry. Here's a guitar.
Julia Stiles: Oh, I love you again.
[everyone gets MARRIED]

2 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Someone should tell Julia Stiles that if she keeps scowling so much, her face is going to get stuck like that.

humboldt honey said...

I think that review was absolutely perfect, Anna. I have watched this movie more times than I care to admit. I oculd have just read your transcript and gotten the EXACT SAME ENJOYMENT out of it.

You live, you learn.