This one was hard. I outsourced most of this week's posts, because I hadn't seen most of the Best Picture nominees. In fact, this was the only one I saw. Now, not having seen a movie has not stopped me from writing an ultra-condensed anyway (next week, I'll do a whole slew of 'em), but I thought I should give the Oscar nominees their due. Anyway: hard. Yes. It was hard, because a) I really liked this film and b) it's a comedy. Dark, yes, but a comedy nonetheless, and really, the dramas are much, much easier to make funny. This one was already funny. I'm hoping I haven't ruined it.~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[it is AMERICA]
Greg Kinnear: We’re living the American Dream! I’m a businessman! I want to go do some business!
Toni Collette: American Dream, eh? So why does your family hate you?
Greg Kinnear: Interesting question, dear. But I don’t care to answer it. I sure hope we don’t get any news tonight that will change our lives forever.
[their QUIRKY family is introduced around the KFC dinner]
Alan Arkin: I’m the gruff, but lovable grampaw. Also, I say dirty things, and it’s hilarious.
Paul Dano: [holds up a CARD that says]: I’m a teenager. That pretty much covers it.
Steve Carell: I’m a gay, suicidal Proust scholar who can’t relate to people.
Abigail Breslin: I’m incredibly adorable and precocious! I want to be Little Miss Sunshine!!!
Steve Carell: Maybe I can relate to you, little girl.
[an EXPOSITIONAL PHONE CALL happens, and the family sets off on their ROAD TRIP, a ROAD TRIP that will change their lives FOREVER]
Greg Kinnear: No wacky misadventures, now!
[they have a LOT of wacky MISADVENTURES]
Alan Arkin: This comedy isn’t quite black enough.
[he DIES, allowing further wacky MISADVENTURES]
Greg Kinnear: My business deal feel through! Noooooo!
Toni Collette: But your family loves you now. Isn’t that enough?
[the DOOR falls off their VAN]
Abigail Breslin: I’m going to be Little Miss Sunshine!!
[she does a STRIPTEASE that her GRANDPA taught her]
Beauty Pageant People: We are scandalized!!!
Quirky Family: Shut up, you’re lame.
[they ALL do a STRIPTEASE]
3 comments:
I totally had my doubts that you could pull this off. I apologize. This was actually really funny and made me laugh out loud. Also, I fucking love this movie. It's, like, maybe my favorite ever.
Girrrrl, I didn't even want to write it. But it was my duty. And where duty leads, so shall I follow. (Hee hee..."duty" sounds like "doody.") I'm glad you approve.
That was amazing. Perfect and amazing. You totally got the feel for the movie. I am amazed.
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