Oscar Week Guest Post: The Queen

That Helen Mirren. She won an Oscar for this movie, you know. Deserved? Probably, though I can't say myself. I was a terrible moviegoer this awards season. Laura McClain, on the other hand, saw the fine thespian skills of Ms. Mirren firsthand; Laura also hopes (along with all of womankind) that she can look as foxy as Helen did at the Oscars when she is sixty years old. Daaaaaaamn!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[it is 1997]

Helen Mirren: Ah, to be the monarch of England. I hope nothing happens in the next six months to shake up by spotless reign as Queen.
England in General: We choose Tony Blair to be Prime Minister!

[Tony Blair is ELECTED and says the word MODERN about 3,000 times]
Tony Blair: Has a Prime Minister ever been so impish??

[he smiles ADORABLY, winning the HEARTS of all ENGLAND except the GRUMPY royals]

Aged Servant: Wake up, Your Majesty. Princess Diana has died.
[a SAD yet CLASSY montage of Princess Diana 's DEATH is SHOWN]

Prince Charles : NOOO! Mommy, though I' m a grown man, you must tell me how to handle this.

[he WHINES and GENERALLY acts all SQUIRRELLY]
Helen Mirren: We shall say or do nothing, as that is what the people would want. Plus, I sort of hated Diana and I'm dealing with my own guilty feelings about that.

[she SITS with GREAT DIGNITY in SENSIBLE TWEEDS]

Tony Blair: Umm, you might want to address your people or do something about this. I 'll be calling you about a hundred times a day about this.

[many people WEEP in the STREET and generally act all UNBRITISH and EMOTIONAL]

Helen Mirren: Wha? I am out of touch. But I shall still say nothing.

England in General : We hate the Queen, blah blah blah, off with her head, etc, etc.
[the Queen goes STALKING, which is APPARENTLY British for HUNTING, and SEES a STAG that REPRESENTS her STOICISM or her LOST INNOCENCE or SOMETHING]
Helen Mirren: I have realized the error of my ways. Hey England, sorry about being all emotionally unavailable.

England in General: No biggie.

Helen Mirren: Show me the way, Tony Blair.

Tony Blair: Okay.

Helen Mirren: Oh, but by the way, England may someday turn on you too.

[he CHUCKLES ruefully, and APPARENTLY the MESSAGE of the film is that the Queen can PREDICT the FUTURE]