Once Bitten

Originally posted on my old blog in July 2005, inspired by someone at work who mentioned that Jim Carrey plays his own leg as a guitar in this movie. I had to see for myself.

Lauren Hutton: Go find me some virgin blood! Vampires need that kind of thing.
Minions: Okay, but it's going to be tricky in L.A. in the mid-80s.
[cut to ICE CREAM TRUCK at drive-in movie theatre]
Jim Carrey: Come on.
Girlfriend: No.
Jim Carrey: Please?
Girlfriend: No.
Jim Carrey: Shit.*
Buddies of Jim Carrey: Let's go to Hollywood and get some ass!
[montage of CRAZY Hollywood people, including Lauren Hutton's MINIONS]
Lauren Hutton: Hey, you're cute. Wanna come home with me?
Jim Carrey: Okay.
[they go to her HOUSE and MAKE OUT until she bites him on the THIGH and he FAINTS]
Jim Carrey: What happened?
Lauren Hutton's Gay Butler: Have some orange juice.
[they go to the Halloween Dance]
Megan Mullally: Nice vampire costume.
Jim Carrey: It's not a costume!
[Jim Carrey's Girlfriend and Lauren Hutton DANCE FIGHT over Jim Carrey while Jim Carrey plays his own LEG as a GUITAR]
Lauren Hutton: Once I bite him three times, he's mine.
Jim Carrey's Girlfriend: This vampire book has explained everything. Let's do it in this coffin and you won't be a virgin anymore!
Jim Carrey: All-righty then!

*When I was watching the movie with Spanish subtitles, this was translated as "Demonios!"

Grade for movie: D+
For playing your own leg as a guitar: A+

1 comment:

Kelly said...

i love it when a person actually beomes a real monster on or near halloween and everyone else thinks it's just a costume. you are the coolest, by the way.