Forever Young

[it is 1939]

George Wendt: OMG! I totally found a way to freeze people!

Science in General: Pish tosh. You are crazy.

Mel Gibson: I believe in you, friend. But I need to go hang out with the love of my life, without whom my life would be empty and meaningle—

[she gets HIT by a BUS in a FREAK accident]

Mel Gibson: Noooooooo!

George Wendt: But DUDE! Now you can get cryogenically frozen in my experiment, seeing as how your life is basically over.

Mel Gibson: Rub it in, why don't you?

[he is FROZEN in a CRAZY SCIENCE-Y machine for 50 years]

Jamie Lee Curtis: Being a single mom is hard, but I'm a tough broad, and I pay a lot of close attention to my child.

Elijah Wood: I'm gonna go play in a military storage facility, mom!

[he and his FRIEND find the CRAZY SCIENCE-Y machine and OPEN it]

Mel Gibson: Gaaaaaaaaaaahh!

[he SHOWS UP at Jamie Lee's house and SAVES her from a DOUCHEBAG]

Jamie Lee Curtis: Thanks, hot stuff.

Mel Gibson: I'm, uh, taken. And also very, very old.

Elijah Wood: The dead guy!!!!

Mel Gibson: Want to learn to fly a plane?

Elijah Wood: Yes – please teach me how to fly, as well as life lessons I can only get from a father, such as how to stalk a girl effectively, and how to fix a roof.

Mel Gibson: Not now, kid – I just found out that my dead girlfriend's not dead!

[he STEALS a PLANE from a GODDAMN military base]

Elijah Wood: Hey, since you're suddenly, like, 100 years old, I better land the plane. Everyone knows old people can't fly.

Mel Gibson: [to LONG-LOST love of his life] But they can still get it on!!

[they live HAPPILY ever after for SIX MONTHS, because they're SERIOUSLY, like, a hundred]

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