Event Horizon

Originally published on my blog in May 2005. This was another one inspired by someone at work. I used to work with a lot of nerds who saw a lot of movies.
[It is the FUTURE]
Laurence Fishburne: Sorry, guys, I know we were supposed to be on leave but we have to go find this ship.
Mother Figure Character: Okay, but first I will view some poignant images of my son.
Sam Neill: Thanks for taking me to find the spaceship I helped build, even though everyone thought it exploded seven years ago. It can travel through space-time like a mofo.
Crew: What?!? No way, man.
Laurence Fishburne: We have a duty. Here, listen to this audio transmission so you can see what deep shit you're in.
Audio Transmission: SCREEE!!! LATIN!!! HELLISH SCREAMS!!!
Crew: Cool, let's go.
[they go into STASIS and Sam Neill has VISIONS]
Joely Richardson: We're here! Let's check out the scary ship, which must be scary because there's scary music every time it's shown.
Mr. Justin: Whoa, there are some crazy life-form readings on board.
Joely Richardson: The ship is ALIVE!!!!
[the SHIP starts picking off the crew by causing HALLUCINATIONS of their WORST FEARS, which are SUPER SCARY]
Remaining Living Crew: We gotta bounce. This ship went to Hell and back...literally.
Sam Neill: You'll never leave...she won't let you.
[he goes NUTS]
Laurence Fishburne: Oh...My...God. What happened to your eyes?*
Sam Neill: Where we're going, we don't need eyes to see.*
[they FIGHT]
Laurence Fishburne: I will blow up part of this ship, thus saving what's left of my crew.
[he dies VALIANTLY and three crew members make it home]
Joely Richardson: Oh, I'm so glad we're home...or are we?

*actual line from film

Grade: D

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