Catch Me If You Can

[it is a FRENCH PRISON]
Tom Hanks: Yes!! Yes!! Finally, the forces of the two most AMAZING ACTORS IN THE WORLD are combined!!
Leonardo DiCaprio: Look, I’m haggard/ugly. Now everyone knows I’m an actor. OK, back to being adorably criminal.
[SEVEN years earlier]
Christopher Walken: Thanks, community. I know you love me. Two mice fall into a bucket of cream; one drowned and the other churned it into butter and escaped.
Leonardo DiCaprio: My dad’s AWESOME!!! I’m about to live my life by the “two mice in a bucket of cream” philosophy.
[some TERRIBLE THINGS happen, including, but not limited to, DIVORCE and FINANCIAL RUIN, causing Leo to RUN AWAY from home]
Leonardo DiCaprio: I’ll use my street smarts, good looks, charm, and apparent innate skill at forgery and busking to get by!
[he fakes being a PILOT]
Every Stewardess Ever: [screams MANIACALLY] So hot!!!!!!
[he fakes being a DOCTOR]
Every Nurse Ever: [screams MANIACALLY] So hot!!!!!!
Leonardo DiCaprio: You, Nurse Number One. Let’s get married.
Amy Adams: Hooray!
[they TRY to get MARRIED, but Leo must RUN AWAY again]
Tom Hanks: I’m still chasing you!!!!
Leonardo DiCaprio: I’m still running!! I’ll never stop! It’s a metaphor for my troubles, you know. You’re like the family I had, but lost.
Tom Hanks: I shall love you forever.
[they JOIN FORCES to become the MOST AMAZING BANK FRAUD FIGHTING UNIT the world has ever seen]