The Island

[it is the FUTURE]
Ewan McGregor: Sigh. I wish I didn't live in this climate-controlled world capsule, squirreled away from the catastrophic event that made all of our world toxic except a near-mythical island somewhere that I could, just maybe, get to if I'm really good and eat all my vegetables. But why am I discontent?
Sean Bean: You're not discontent.
[he makes a NOTE that Ewan is NOT LIKE the other RESIDENTS of the WORLD CAPSULE]
Scarlett Johansson: Here, have some bacon.
Ewan McGregor: Thanks.
[as they move CLOSER to each other, GUARDS appear and give them PROXIMITY WARNINGS]
Michael Clarke Duncan: I won the lottery! I'm going to The Island!!!!!!!!
[everyone CHEERS]
Steve Buscemi: Why am I in this movie? Here, have a beer.
Ewan McGregor: Thanks.
[he follows a BUG out of the WORLD CAPSULE to a HOSPITAL, where he sees BAD THINGS]
Ewan McGregor: There is no island!! We're clones!!! RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
Scarlett Johansson: What?
Ewan McGregor: GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
[they RUN]
Steve Buscemi: Here, let me help you.
[he is shot, AWESOMELY]
EwanMcGregor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Scarlett Johansson: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
[they NARROWLY escape and begin to SEARCH for their CLONE ORIGINATORS]
Sean Bean: Find them.
Djimon Hounsou: Pay up.
Sean Bean: Of course.
[CHASES ensue, involving CARS, PIPES, TRUCKS, GUNS, PLANES, BUILDINGS, HUGE LETTERS and AWESOMENESS, until the CLONES have escaped FOR REAL]
Ewan McGregor: Aren't you - me???
Ewan McGregor: Yes. I'm Scottish and I'll KICK YOUR ASS!
[they FIGHT and one of them is VANQUISHED]
Scarlett Johansson: RUUUUUUUUUNNN! Wait, we're good to go.
Ewan McGregor: Let's ride on my boat.
[they SAIL AWAY into the SUNSET]