Enduring Love

[it is RURAL ENGLAND]

Daniel Craig: What a glorious day! A glorious day to be alive, having a picnic!
Samantha Morton: Yes, indeed! All the glory of England surrounds us!

[a HOT-AIR BALLOON appears not far from them, in some sort of DISTRESS]

Daniel Craig: My god! What the devil could be happening?

[he runs FULL-SPEED to the balloon]

Boy in Balloon: Help!

Some Random Dudes, including Daniel Craig and Rhys Ifans: We'll help you!

[they TRY, but FAIL]

Random Dude Trying to Help the Boy: I can't let go!

[he falls HORRIBLY and is SMASHED]

Rhys Ifans: Let's pray.

Daniel Craig: I, uh, don't really, uh...

Rhys Ifans: PRAY!

[they DO]

Rhys Ifans: Now I love you.

[back in LONDON]

Samantha Morton: What's your deal?

Daniel Craig: That weird dude from the balloon is obsessed with me.

Rhys Ifans: [as he appears CREEPILY from behind a WALL] Yes, I am.

[he STABS Samantha Morton repeatedly]

Daniel Craig: Oh, cruel fates!

[he STABS Rhys Ifans repeatedly]

Samantha Morton: I'm good, actually.

Daniel Craig: Wanna have a picnic?

[they live SEMI-HAPPILY, but with an UNDERCURRENT of UNEASE, ever after]