1.20.2011

The King's Speech


As usual, because this movie was good, the condensed version is kind of boring. See it! Also, I think this might be the most disparate poster-quality-to-movie-quality ratio EVER, because WOW is that poster ever shitty. This one is better, but I needed you guys to see this Photoshop disaster.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
[it is ENGLAND in the 1930s]
Colin Firth: I'm just the p- p- p- p- the Duke of York. This stammer shouldn't affect me.
[he TRIES to give a speech but CANNOT]
Helena Bonham Carter: It's fine, darling! We'll find you a speech therapist.
[they TRY, but everyone CANNOT help him]
Colin Firth: Oh b-b-b-b-b-bother.
Helena Bonham Carter: Perhaps this fellow whose office is in the basement could help us! Oh dear, he's Australian. No matter.
Geoffrey Rush: Yes, indeed I could, but your husband must come to my office.
Helena Bonham Carter: You know he's the Duke of York, right?
Geoffrey Rush: Oh. Well, still. He must come here.
Colin Firth: Hello, Dr. Logue.
Geoffrey Rush: No, no. We must be equals. Call me Lionel. And I'll call you Bertie.
Colin Firth: ONLY MY FAMILY CALLS ME THAT!!
[they BUTT HEADS but then WORK TOGETHER]
Geoffrey Rush: No! Don't smoke!
Colin Firth: All my physicians say it's good for me.
Geoffrey Rush: Well, they're all idiots.*
Colin Firth: They've all been knighted.*
Geoffrey Rush: Well, it's official, then.*
[they WORK on TALKING]
Guy Pearce: Hahahahaha! I'm going to be king, but I want to marry a twice-divorced American! Also I love to party!!
[their DAD, the KING, dies]
Guy Pearce: Oh bugger! Now I've got to be king! But I don't want to! Wah wah wah!!
[he ABDICATES the THRONE and everyone is like WHAT THE FUUUUUCKKKK]
Wallis Simpson: Haha! We might be Nazis!!
Colin Firth: Well, I guess I'm going to be king now.
Geoffrey Rush: You can do it!
Colin Firth: Shut up!! No I can't! Also, you are a fraud because you are not really a doctor!!
Geoffrey Rush: I just wanted to help people and be your friend!!!
Elizabeth Bennett: Darling, who are these people in our house?
Geoffrey Rush: Oh, it's just the king and queen, don't worry.
Elizabeth Bennett: Bwaaaaaaaaaaa?!?!
Colin Firth: Thank you for helping me. Now we can win World War II.
England: Yayyyy!

No comments: