Pretty in Pink

[it is the EIGHTIES]
Molly Ringwald: Sigh. I wish my dad had a job. I wish I had a mother. Perhaps someone will arrive to brighten my life.
Jon Cryer: I love you!!!!!
Molly Ringwald: Where, oh where could he be?
[she crosses the TRACKS, since she lives on the LITERAL WRONG SIDE of them]
Andrew McCarthy: Hey, that poor girl is kind of cute and/or smart.
Molly Ringwald: Hey, that rich guy isn't a total asshole.
James Spader: Smarm! No one smarms like Spader! She's poor, we're rich, man. Step away.
Andrew McCarthy: But...
[they are TORN between TWO WORLDS]
Molly Ringwald: I don't know what to do!!
Annie Potts: I am funky. Please observe my funky, funky clothing and hair. Also, I have sage advice.
[Jon Cryer performs "TRY A LITTLE TENDERNESS" in an ATTEMPT to win the GIRL]
Molly Ringwald: That was nice, friend. I call you "friend," for that is what you are.
Jon Cryer: Noooooo!
Harry Dean Stanton: Here's a dress your mom wore. Oh, and I got a job. For real this time.
[Molly Ringwald TRANSFORMS the dress into a SPECTACLE of FASHION, or apparently what was CONSIDERED fashion at the time the movie was made]
Molly Ringwald: I shall attend prom...alone.
Jon Cryer: I love you!
Molly Ringwald: And I love you!!
Audience: What??? She needs to end up with the rich dude.
[the studio RE-DRAFTS the ENDING, angering UNREQUITED CRUSH-HARBORERS everywhere]
Molly Ringwald: I shall attend prom...alone.
Andrew McCarthy: I love you!
Jon Cryer: Nooooooo!
James Spader: Smarm.
[everyone lives HAPPILY ever AFTER, except Jon Cryer, since he has to share a show with CHARLIE SHEEN]