11.12.2008

The Man in the Moon

Reese Witherspoon looks EXACTLY THE SAME in this movie, which was released in 1991, as she does now. And her mannerisms are basically identical too. I don't know if that means she was a very precocious child actor, or if it means she hasn't progressed, but I thought it was worth mentioning.
~~~~~~~
[it is the SOUTH, in olden times, I think]
Reese Witherspoon: I'm a tomboy! I like running around in the wilderness!
Sam Waterston: Now, now, you're too big to be runnin' around like that. Act a lady like your sister, who is only a couple years older but has a bangin' bod.
[they go to CHURCH, because that is where you LEARN to be a LADY]
Reese Witherspoon: Now I'm-a goin' skinny dippin'! You can't impose yer social constructs on ME!
Jeremy London: Hey! I'm in this lake!
[they are both NAKED and AWKWARD]
Reese Witherspoon: I don't like boys!!
[she SUDDENLY REALIZES that he is WAY CUTE]
Reese Witherspoon: Okay, now I do like boys!!
[she and her SISTER practice KISSING on their HANDS]
Jeremy London: You're such a nice kid.
Reese Witherspoon: Boo hoooooo! I want to kiss youuuu!! But you think I'm a kiiiiiiiid!!
[she goes to MEET him in the MIDDLE of a STORM, causing her mother to go into EARLY LABOR]
Sam Waterston: You are irresponsible!! If you're going to be hangin' around with that Foster boy, you better bring him around the house.
[she DOES, while wearing a STRANGELY 1980s-looking DRESS]
Jeremy London: Wait...you have a totally hot older sister?!? How did I not know this earlier!?! Please make out with me now.
The Sister: I can't...she's my sister.
[she SUDDENLY REALIZES that he is WAY CUTE]
The Sister: Oh, who am I kidding?
[they BONE]
Reese Witherspoon: Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!
[the SISTERS are on the OUTS]
Jeremy London: Life is good here on the farm. Sittin' on my tractor, thinkin' 'bout my girl, fetchin' my hat from off a tree branch...WHAAAAAAAA!!
[he FALLS OFF the TRACTOR and gets RUN OVER by it and it is like SERIOUSLY TRAGIC]
Reese Witherspoon: I LOVED HIMMMMM!!!
The Sister: MEEEEE TOOOOOOOO!!!
[they MOURN, but eventually are FINE]

5 comments:

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Top 5 Worst Ways to Die

Also, I hope that I plan to look exactly the same in 17 years, too. Exactly the same as Reese Witherspoon, that is.

Laura said...

Omg, I loved this movie as a youth. So needlessly tragic. I was just glad they didn't show Jeremy London's mangled corpse. Picturing it was gross enough.

Emily said...

I'm not gonna lie, I saw this movie shortly after it came out, and it began my life-long love of Reese Witherspoon. Seriously, I've say through some shit and some awesome just because she was in it.

But yeah, worst way to die, for sure.

Fun fact! Reese Witherspoon showed up to be an extra in this film, but the director liked her so much that he cast her as the lead. This is what struggling actors like to call TOTALLY NOT FUCKING FAIR.

Movie Maven said...

Fuck you, Witherspoon. FUCK. YOU. You get an acting career practically HANDED to you AND Jack Gyllenhaal? I CALL SHENANIGANS.

...but I still love you and will probably see Four Christmases in the theater.

Your Ill-fitting Overcoat said...

Wait, isn't Four Christmases the screenplay that Blake Snyder talks about in Save the Cat? That actually got made into a movie??

... yes, it is the same one!